After All...

Note: This is related to an earlier post in May 'O8.


*DEEP SIGH* when I saw 'him', AND 'her'. Unfortunately I was at work when this unwanted-'sudden rush' came to me. I tried so hard to focus on work, but end up short of quite a big amount. Blaming myself for being too nervous over this particular matter, I just couldn't help it... Memangla he's an EX.. he's history.. he's my past. Cuma... hati ni.... ntahla.. rasa....sebak sgt...
Moreover, with the fact that he actually Begged & Pleaded to be in a relationship with me again, to be mine once more, and with all those tears he shed the night before he left for M'sia, and yea, he promised to come back into my arms when he gets his fugly ass back here...only to prove that he's actually capable of living such lies.. I never thought that he's full of crap. Bullshits, to be exact. I was extremely upset, that's undeniable. I was totally down with myself, I feel unworthy. manipulated. lied to. used. And worse, I feel like I was completely fooled.

But yea...later today I had some logical senses back into my mind. I heard soft whispers telling me that it's him who doesn't deserve me, it's him who is immature (in This term), and it's him who is LOSING..

I wonder why God actually fated us to meet & love & then leave.. But now it is becoming obvious that He (up above) doesn't want me to regret whatever that has happened All these years, including everything Recent of course.. I've become a whole new person with a whole new chapter. Not to say I completely changed, but..nothing can be compared to this massive improvement I've ever had in the past 22 years of my life..
Syukur.

And yes loser, I don't hope. well at least..Not Anymore.

Hmm...."When I saw you and her so close together, with you wearing the same smile you used to have when I was the only girl in your heart, tears strolled down my cheeks...I tried to slowly breathe, I tried to be as calm as I should be, and I, accepted the fact that the other smile next to yours isn't anymore mine...and so I understand, never will it be."

Because after all..... (apparently) it was just meant to be 'a rebound relationship'... for both you & me.