I just don't know anymore.

You give me cuts on the inside, again and again, one after another........

You're killing me entirely...

You're destroying the softer part of my heart.....the place that I thought You'd belong to...

You said You're willing, but You keep coming up with all kinds of reasoning......

You're refusing to take the blame, and You never prioritize the thing that matters...

You always have choices, but You made the wrong ones...

You always have alternatives, but You picked out the selfish ones...

You always leave me holding back, behind You.. as if my tears never meant anything to You...

You never took the chance to understand me real closely, the way I thought You would...

You always express yourself more than what you're actually capable of...

and worse, You always make me believe in your lies...

You made me smile with a heart full of hope, but it never took long before You take it away with your false promises...

"You should know that I am not just anybody that You can walk all over. This way, I wish You luck in love."

Penutup Kisahku ..

Ku awali hariku dengan mendoakanmu
agar kau sihat dan bahagia di sana,
sebelum kau melupakanku lebih jauh,
sebelum kau meninggalkanku lebih jauh..
Ku tak pernah berharap kau akan merindukan keadaanku yang kau letakkan hina..
Ku hanya ingin tatkala kau melihatku bila

pun, di mana pun,
hatimu akan berkata seperti ini....
Gadis inilah yang jatuh hati padamu..
Gadis inilah yang selalu memujamu..

Akulah orang yang akan selalu menaruh harapan,
dan menuliskan cinta di atas sekeping hatimu..
Akulah orang yang akan selalu ingin menjagamu,
menikmati indahmu dari sisi gelapku..
Dan biarkan aku jadi pemujamu,
Jangan pernah hiraukan perasaan hatiku..
Tenanglah, tenang sayang..
Aku takkan sampai hati bila menyentuhmu..
Mungkin kau takkan pernah tahu
betapa mudahnya kau untuk ku kagumi..
Mungkin kau tak pernah sedar
betapa mudahnya kau untuk ku cintai..

Akulah orang yang akan selalu menyayangimu,
Akulah orang yang akan selalu memahamimu,
Akulah orang yang akan selalu melegakanmu,
Akulah orang yang akan selalu mencintaimu,

dari sisi gelapku...

Warkahku ..

Walau seterang mana sinar matahari,

Ia tetap akan hilang dalam gelap malam..

Walau seindah mana bulan purnama,

Ia tetap malap di siang hari..

Walau seunik mana pelangi berwarna,

Ia tetap akan pergi perlahan..

Walau seajaib mana hujan meteor,

Ia singgah hanya sejenak..

Walau sebesar mana sesebuah planet,

Ia tetap kabur dari pandangan..

Walau sekuat mana graviti Bumi,

Ia tetap kalah di angkasa..

Tetapi ini warkahku. . .

Maka ku ingin kau tahu...

"Walau bagaimana sekalipun keadaannya,

Aku akan tetap di sini.

Bersama… hingga akhir nafasku."

*You*

When I was lost in the darkest night,

You rescued me to the brightest light..

When I was down to the deepest ground,

You held me up to where faith is found..

When I was sinking and drowning in melancholy,

You came right here, right up to me..

How can I not consider You too special,

When You took my heart in such a way..

How can I not be amazed by You,

When it’s You who brought the sunshine to a broken smile..

And how can I not see You as a gift too precious,

When it’s You who taught me life’s most important lessons..

It came over me when I least expected..

You created a rainbow of your own, to look after me when the rain leaves me alone..

You led the feeling of love straight to where it belongs,

And all I wanna do is to cherish the wonderful You..

And now that I truly feel You in me,

I am truly blessed to have finally found You,

My dream, my soul, yes You….my life…

Origins!

Tok Mod = Malaysian Malay (Bugis)
Tok Chah = Malaysian Malay (Riau)

***

Nenek = Singaporean Chinese

***

Tok Ali = Indian (Malayalam)

***

Nenek = Burmese

***


'Astonished' -- when I was told about our origins & ancestors.
Well hey~ Many thanks to the variation of genes!

Sometimes ..

Sometimes I wish life treats me better,

Sometimes I wish it will always be fair,

Sometimes I wish I’d never have to choose,

to make decisions and to learn living in a world so cruel..

Sometimes I wish people are easily understood,

so that no one tends to be rude..

Sometimes I wish there is less time in a day,

so that no one is to be taken for granted, in any possible ways..

Sometimes I wish I was a different person..

Someone who resembles contentment,

reflects the hidden inner beauty,

doesn’t hold anything back,

and never too petrified to face any facts..

Someone who won’t cry so hard from pleading,

someone who finds that it is painless to love than to hate..

Who admires aptness but does not refuse weaknesses..

Just someone…who will never have to be in a state of denial.

And someone...to feel so much of freedom, even after countless painful trials..

Just the way You are.

The way you talk to me…

The way you make me laugh…

The way you sing to me…

The way you apologize…

The way you hold me close…

And the way you look at me…

Simply tell that... every little thing you do -is to impress me..

It really means something that is,

Too special for me to let go,

Too wonderful for me to ignore..

You add sunshine to a smile,

You send butterflies though we’re parted by miles..

When I miss you, I crazily do..

When I hug you, I really feel you..

When I hold your hands in mine,

I secretly wish that you won’t have to leave..

And at times when I teasingly mentioned that “I don’t like you”,

I meant to actually say “I love you.. and I really, really do..”